It comes to me now and then, the question of where I should actually be. The maps are all drawn out yet I am lingering between nowhere.
If I continue pursuing the dream tertiary education, I will end up in some schools, some hospitals or some companies which are strongly believed to facilitate stability in my future. In other words, I would give my life to a decent job, a glittering one, that’ll meet the hopes of most of the people around me. Part of me understands that passing a nine to five with amiable colleagues, an assuring salary and a moderate pace of life would be silly. And though this road is, too, rough, it is easier to pass by. The finish line is comfy and certain.
However, I wonder if there could be something more. Something that doesn’t just spare a humble amount of time for music. Something beyond makeshift performances on a school stage. Something more than just sporadic days rehearsing with my peers for tiny events. Something more than polite applause. Something more than superficiality when it comes to fighting for my passion.
I dream of a truly celebratory environment for music. I crave continuous chains of rehearsal sessions for a stage welcomed by roaring applause. The crowd gleaming, echoing the songs I write, the song they see. It is crucial that we find time for what we need and what we love. But this balancing act may just be a waste of time. While we can enormously enjoy our passion, we have to divide our time into smaller parts and share some of them with other activities needed for our future “decent job”. While our musical ability can improve significantly, it has to slow itself down for us to balance our life. Nevertheless, what if it doesn’t work? What if our passion is not grand enough to grant us the success and satisfactory that we chase? What if the voice inside us is much weaker than the everyday speech of society?
Here comes the paramount question—where should I actually be?