The growth of a child has always made me curious, and scared. A blank piece of paper living by instincts and learning from every happening around, without understanding much meaning beforehand. A droplet of ink would stay forever. Even the most trusted type of correction pen would only recreate space for “more accurate” messages on top.
It reminds me of how a band-aid can seal a small cut on a finger. The wound healed, but after that first time playing around with knives in the kitchen, I built a wall of defence - fear.
When we fear something, we would do everything possible to avoid it. We would argue against it in every way and persuade ourselves to stay far away from it.
As an individual scared of knives, I could always opt for scissors every time, right?
The thing is, I now use a knife every day. My mum uses it regularly and patiently pulled me into the kitchen ever so often to show me step by step how to use a knife as safely as possible. It’s not that my mum never cuts herself, but for her, using knives is just a part of cooking quickly and flexibly. Now and again, I still get cuts from using a knife, but I am no longer scared.
This then gets me thinking: what if my mum were to have had that exact same fear? What if she thought of knives as dangerous devices and cleared out every single knife in our house because she wanted us all to be safe? I would’ve never gotten hurt by those sharp blades as long as I stay within our safe environment. I would, however, continue to be horrified by something not entirely harmless yet so ordinary and familiar to others.
Well, as long as it is safe for me and safe for my family right? And after all, mum has been there for me my whole life; she is the one who loves me most, protects me most, right?
January Sun is the second original musical by FRAGMENTS. This piece is dedicated to exploring one of the significant themes of the musical.