“In adolescence, Éponine becomes a "pale, puny, meagre creature", with a hoarse voice like "a drunken galley slave's", having been "roughened by brandy and by liquors". She wears dirty and tattered clothing, consisting solely of a chemise and a skirt. She is missing a few teeth, is barefoot, has tangled hair, bony shoulders, and heavy brooding drooping eyes, while the "grace of her youth was still struggling against the hideous old age brought on by debauchery and poverty" and has only a trace of beauty lingering upon her face. She had "the form of an unripe young girl and the look of a corrupted old woman; fifty years joined with fifteen; one of those beings who are both feeble and horrible at once, and who make those shudder whom they do not make weep"
Victor Hugo describing Eponine in ‘Les Miserables’
At night, I dream of becoming Éponine in the musical Les Misérables. I can close my eyes and imagine her life slowly blending into mine: I was pampered and spoiled by the Thénardiers in Montfermeil, France; I contemplated drowning myself and had hallucinations due to the lack of nourishment; I was so self-destructively in love with Marius Pontmercy that I was happy to see him smile even with another woman.
Then, the casting day finally came. I sang ‘On My Own’, and just after the last pre-chord, one of the judges stopped me:
“Aren’t you a little overweight to be Éponine?”
I never thought that Asians could play Éponine brilliantly. Having girls like Lea Salonga and Kaho Shimada portray her is inspiring, as they remind me how it is possible for girls who look like me to take part in Les Misérables. I have seen a black Jean Valjean, played by Kyle Jean-Baptiste. He is the first African-American and the youngest actor to play Jean Valjean, at 21-years-old. I have seen homosexual relationships beautifully portrayed in Rent. I have seen people suffering from AIDS, trying to pay their rent in the 80s, and loving each other through it all.
It is taboo-free, the musical theatre world. Yet, not a single day goes by that where I do not regret purposefully starving myself in order to achieve those ‘bony Éponine shoulders.’ By doing so, I not only couldn’t get the role because of the extreme malnourishment, but I also wasn’t able to show audiences the wonderfully diverse side of musical theatre.
We come in all colours, shapes and sizes. Each one of us is full of talent, potential, and dedication. We should celebrate humans gifted with story-telling potentials, no matter what form and size they are in.